Feeling a little better about the whole boy situation. Finally talk to Him for a little bit last night. It's ridiculous how speaking to him has put me in such a good mood. That doesn't mean I don't want to know why he hasn't answered e-mails and was so nasty when I called the other night, I just want to chalk it up to the election and him trying to finish several papers for conferences. I need to hear his voice once in a while, just to keep me sane.
These are the days that are difficult for me. Last night every one's significant other was at the house. Everyone is so sweet and cozy, and I'm alone. Those are the times I struggle with the thoughts of finding someone to keep me company. I suppose my prospects are quite limited in the village, perhaps a friend of Agape. This may be the most difficult part of the year. If I choose to have a relationship here how do I go into it knowing it'll only be for a year. I don't want to hurt myself or anyone else. I don't want to accidently fall in love. I have no intention of staying in Europe for a boy. My time here is purely for me. I have enough men back in the States, I don't need anyone trying to convince me to stay here.
For now I guess I just stay alone, count my blessings in my friends, and try to find some comfort about all of this in looking at the amazing life that I have in this place.
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1 comment:
your emotions so reliant on every shift in his mood or tone-- oh.
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