Finally go to check my e-mail last night. It was wonderful to read all my messages from home…good to know that no one has forgotten me just yet. Got a message from Him. Now I feel like all those things I’d written about not missing Him and being fine here on my own weren’t the whole truth. His message was filled with lovely new from home – Corey’s wedding, how beautiful it was, how much I would have enjoyed it, and how it was like something he would like to have. How much he hates coming home to an empty apartment and how he would rather come home to me instead. I don’t know if it made me miss Him but it certainly shocked me. I need to stop thinking about which warm body I want to entice to be next to me and start thinking more about long term decisions. Do I want Him to come home to me? I don’t know how good of an idea it is for me to come back from a year abroad, having not seen him for months and months, and trying to get really serious in this relationship right away. I’m sure the moment I start to really focus my attention on these big decisions will be the moment when I suddenly have more boys that I know what to do with, that seems to be the story of my life.
On a lighter note I got to talk to Idge last night. It was so good to hear her voice, hear about her summer, E’s baseball, and to tell her about my little alpine village. Unfortunately she sounded so sad as we were getting off the phone. I felt so awful – a little selfish for taking this trip for myself and leaving my baby sister back in the States. I’m sure that these months will fly past and we’ll be sitting together at home before I know it. But right now it doesn’t feel like that at all.
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