Melancholy, feeling very melancholy today. Like a have a strange need to cry and be comforted. Nothing particularly bad has happened, nothing even remotely bad has happened. I feel like I feel like I have all of this incredible friendship but no love. Not romantic love, but just regular old run of the mill love. Maybe there is no such thing as regular love, I suppose all love is extraordinary in some way. Whatever the case may be I'm in need of feeling regular or extraordinary love. Just some one to hold onto me for a bit. Let me sink back and not be in charge, to let go, not think and just feel how good it feels to have another human body pressed next to mine. There are times when I think that the only way I can recognize my body, soul, or life, is in relation to someone else; the permanent gaze of the other. And now maybe I don't need so much the gaze but the body of the other to remind me what mine feels like.